Pastors must embrace conflict to extract the good it contains. (Creative Commons photo by Gwenael Piaser)
Congregational discord can often generate positive growth if pastors and others embrace conflict and talk out differences, expert says.
The key to creating or maintaining congregational harmony isn’t for pastors to avoid conflict, but rather to face them squarely, an expert on church conflict told ministry leaders recently.
And that’s because conflict is inevitable anywhere human beings are working in relationships, said Mike Smith, a former pastor and associational director of missions in East Texas.
Smith told participants of a seminar at FIRM Baptist Area in Cameron, Texas, that he was speaking from experience.
“It just seemed like I was getting into conflict or people were coming to me with conflict,” he said.
Because of that, he began to attend numerous conferences and read extensively about how to deal with conflict. Soon, he became a trained mediator and has served as a “mediator, listening ear or prayer partner” in more than 3,000 conflict cases.
He also made presentations to many pastors and deacons on conflict resolution.
Statistics reflect the need
Statistics confirm what his experience and that of others, he said.
Out of 350,000 pastors in the United States, about one of eight is considering resignation, and many believe being a pastor negatively affects their family, he reported.
He also noted:
• More than 4,000 pastors have a serious conflict with a church member at least once a month.
• More than 100 pastors are forcibly terminated each month.
• On any given day, 19,000 churches are in conflict.
While conflict management is necessary, it isn’t easy.
“Conflict management is not a science; it is an art,” Smith said. “Some things you just have to learn by walking through it.”
Smith recalled being fired from his church just four months into a pastorate and how he felt his ministry was over.
“Little did I know that in a few short years, I’d be sitting in a director of missions’ chair, and I would have, on a regular basis, pastor after pastor come in and sit in the chair on the other side of my desk and start pouring their heart out. And I would be able to say: ‘I know where you’ve been. I know how you’re hurting,’” he said.
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SOURCE: Baptist News Global
George Henson
